Blinded
by Lady Toile
Summary: "I knew of Hatake Kakashi... He was always destined for greatness that he would not have to earn." KakashixOC, Rated M for eventual Lemons, flames will be used for my backyard barbecue.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Blinded

**Rating:** M

**Warnings:** Sex, Angst, Gore

**Timeline:** During Naruto's training with Jiraiya

* * *

I wish I could see colors again. I don't care much for remembering how things looked. I just miss the vibrancy and vividness that sets the world alight. I've forgotten the colors of red, blue, or green. I've forgotten the color of my hair and eyes. The only color I've remembered is the color of my mother's necklace. I remembered how it glinted and twinkled. I remembered the way it dangled off of her neck. It was beautiful and it had always shone brightly in my mind. Over the years, though, the image of it has diminished and grown dark along with my hope and will.

* * *

I rushed to the Hokage's office. I sped through the streets systematically; Konoha had become a maze that I had no choice but to remember. I knew where every turn was and how many steps it took to get to every single location in the village.

I lost my vision at an early age during the Third Great Shinobi War. My mother and father were merchants from Konoha who traveled constantly to Suna or Amegakure. Tensions were high during the war and the shinobi world was consumed in violence at the time.

I entered the building that the Hokage's office was situated in and navigated through the stairs and turns until I calculated that I was standing in front of my destination. I held my hand up and lightly rapped on the door with the back of my hand.

"Come in," I heard her voice.

I pushed against the door and entered.

"You called for me, Tsunade-sama?" I asked.

I took a few steps forward and stopped when I judged that I was standing in front of her. I could sense her chakra; enormously concentrated as if it resided in the center of her being. I also sensed someone else's chakra. It was quite large as well, but it felt like static as it tingled and shivered against my own chakra.

Sensing my uneasiness, the Hokage spoke up.

"Yes, I have a mission for you," her voice was strong and rang clearly in my ears.

"But first," she continued, "Sanu Kei, meet your partner for the mission: Hatake Kakashi."

"Nice to meet you, Kei," he spoke. His voice was impeccably smooth, but it also lent him an air of aloofness.

I knew of Hatake Kakashi; he was one of the most celebrated ninjas of his generation. He also possessed the Sharingan and was the living legacy of the legendary White Fang of Konoha. These were all the reasons that I disliked him; he was always destined for greatness that he would not have to earn.

I tried to hide my displeasure as I turned and gave a polite half-bow in his general direction.

"Now that we're all acquainted, I need to brief you on the mission," Tsunade spoke. I heard papers being shuffled on her desk.

Hatake stepped forward and I felt his chakra shift closer to me. The air around me slightly fluctuated as I felt him place a folder in my hands. I felt my jaw involuntarily tighten; I was stubbornly independent and hated having people to help me.

I opened the folder. I weaved a sign and then placed my hand on the page. The jutsu made the writing raised and I was able to read the contents using my fingers.

I could hear Hatake breathing slow and steadily next to me as he read.

"Do we have permission to enter the country?" I asked.

Tsunade cleared her throat.

"No," she spoke, "they cannot know."

"We don't know which villages have ties to the Akatsuki," Hatake explained.

"The purpose of this mission is to confirm intel that I gathered from recent ANBU reports," Tsunade continued. "So we must proceed with discretion."

"Yes, Tsunade-sama," I said.

"Be cautious," she said sternly, "and pack light."

I nodded and closed the folder. I turned around and walked out through the door. I could sense Hatake following behind me.

After we exited the building, he spoke.

"Meet you at the gate in an hour."

The air then slightly swooshed around me and I knew he was gone.

I let out a loud groan. Of all the capable ninja in Konoha, Tsunade had to pick Hatake even though she knew I held deep contempt for him.

* * *

My world had gone dark and all I could do was cry. I could feel my mother's blood; it had dried and felt like a sticky coat on my skin. The sounds of battle were all around me: the piercing clang of kunais and the loud thud of bodies that fell.

I shook my head to clear away my thoughts. I reached into a drawer and pulled out several garments. I placed them in a small bag along with my weapons.

After I finished packing, I left my apartment and headed out.

As I approached the gate, I could sense that Hatake was already there.

"You're late," he stated.

"Sorry," I replied, "I got caught up in something."

"We should head out," I heard him adjust the pack on his back and he began walking.

I mentally readied myself to begin the long journey that lay ahead us. I took a deep breath and exhaled, while following quietly behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

Hatake Kakashi was irritating me. It had been two hours since we left Konoha and he was still reading that book.

We walked side by side through the forest; the crunch of grass and dry soil underneath our feet reverberated through my chakra like a gong. Hatake's chakra buzzed around me, making me feel agitated.

"Do you have no shame in reading that in front of others?" I asked, cutting through the silence.

"Huh?" he sounded confused.

"Pages 17, 34, and 75," I stated, "They are the most worn pages in your book. I can tell by the sound they make when you flip them. "

Hatake's breathing stopped momentarily.

"Considering the fact that I have read every book in Konoha and the worn pages seem to coincide with certain events in the storyline; I have deduced that you are reading 'Icha Icha Paradise,'" I concluded.

I continued walking and could not help but feel a sense of satisfaction as I heard him close the book and place it in his pack.

* * *

"Why have you been leading us east?" I asked Hatake.

The night was quickly approaching; I could feel the air's temperature rapidly dropping. The forest also seemed to be thinning; we had to be near a village.

"Ah, I knew you would notice," he said plainly.

I couldn't believe the nerve of this guy.

"Are you going to answer my question?" I demanded.

"Calm down, we're almost there," he said.

He suddenly started sprinting. Not wanting to be left behind, I followed suit. After a few kilometers, he stopped. I stood next to him and began observing my surroundings. I could hear light-hearted chatter nearby. I sniffed the air and recognized the distinct smell of sulfur.

"You brought us to a hot spring?" I asked in disbelief.

"We might as well enjoy it as long as we're here," his voice said with a hint of humor.

"Because you brought us here," I could hear my own voice rise up by several decibels.

He continued walking towards the noise.

"We're not wasting the village's money," I said angrily. I stiffened my stance and crossed my arms.

"Don't worry, Kei," I heard his voice float from up ahead, "I'll pay for it."

I huffed loudly; I was incensed at his flippant use of my first name.

I heard him enter the inn.

The wind blew and it was cold as it prickled my skin. My head began throbbing painfully. Deciding that I would rather sleep in a nice, warm room instead of camping outside; I quickly followed Hatake's steps into the inn. I automatically began searching for another chakra presence besides our own. I was mollified when I didn't find any.

"Your room is next to mine," I heard his voice say.

The inn was quite old; I could tell by the smell of the wood. I walked behind Hatake as he led us to our rooms.

He stopped in the middle of a hallway.

"This one's yours," he said. I heard him walk over a few feet away and slide open the door to his room.

"Thanks, Hatake," I said stiffly.

"No problem," he seemed to be smiling as he said it.

I entered my room and closed the door behind me.

* * *

I walked into the water and held out my hands until I felt the boundary of rocks at the edge. I sat down on the stone seat that wrapped around the entire area and immersed myself in the water all the way up to my chin.

My head ached. My stomach shot out sharp pangs throughout my lower abdomen; I knew I needed sustenance but I had no desire to eat.

I could sense that there was nobody else in the pool, so I let myself lean back against the stones and welcomed the therapeutic heat to wash over my body without the worry of interference.

I began thinking about the mission. A part of me was afraid; I had just become a jounin and I wasn't as confident in my abilities as I should be. It didn't help that my partner on this mission was the great Copy Ninja. I knew that my dislike for him stemmed from my feelings of inadequacy.

I was a ninja who was born from non-shinobi parents. I was certainly no prodigy; I had never showed any prowess towards ninjutsu until I lost my sight. I was not born with talent; I could only learn the skills and adapt to my disadvantage. With the proper application of strength and perseverance, I was able to climb up the ranks to become a somewhat respectable shinobi. But, some part of me believed that I still fell short.

I felt my arms droop and my head recline back as I let myself drift slowly into a light sleep.

* * *

I awoke to the sudden presence of chakra nearby.

I sat up and pushed my wet hair behind my ears. I expanded my chakra, searching for the intruder. I felt a familiar buzz: it was Hatake's.

Knowing that I wouldn't be able to relax again with his chakra constantly humming against me, I remained sitting up.

Every shinobi emitted an aura of chakra that was unique. Hatake's just happened to be quite unnerving to be around.

Feeling curious, I decided to see just how large his chakra was. I took a few deep breaths and slowly created an opening in my chakra's protective barrier.

My breath hitched audibly as I felt his chakra rush in quickly through the opening until it wrapped around me in a tight and tingling embrace. Goose bumps raced across my skin as my chakra tried to fight his off in vain.

I imagined Hatake on the other side of the wooden divider, reading his book, completely unaware of the effect his chakra was having on me.

I tried to breathe normally as it sent prickling sensations crawling all over me. My face started heating up and I could also feel myself becoming warm around my lower region.

My body involuntarily twitched as his chakra continued to send merciless tremors throughout my body. I shook my head side to side as I tried to shake off the uncomfortable yet satisfying pleasure I was feeling.

Getting a hold of myself, I mustered up my energy and slowly closed the hole that I created. I stood up in the water, panting and sweating as I felt his chakra swiftly pull back to where it came from.


	3. Chapter 3

I felt the warm splatter of blood paint my face. It smelled of old rust. My ears rang from the explosion. Or was it from my crying?

Someone touched me and I screamed.

"I'm sorry," I heard a man's voice say above me.

He lifted me up until I was cradled safely against his chest. He smelled of old rust, too.

I became quiet.

"I'm sorry," he said again, his voice sounding hoarse and low.

His hands gripped me tightly. An overwhelming feeling struck me through my chest as I realized I would never be able to see his face.

* * *

I could hear Hatake's voice. He kept repeating my name.

I slightly shifted as I began to awake.

"Kei," I heard him say again.

My head ached and my neck and chest felt slick with sweat.

"Kei," he called out again, "answer me, or I'm coming in."

I sat up and opened my mouth to protest when I felt an excruciating pain sear through my head. I gave out a loud yelp.

"I'm coming in!" I heard Hatake shout.

The door burst open.

"Hatake," I growled, "I'm fine." I gritted my teeth as the pain hit again.

He knelt beside me as he placed his hand on my shoulder.

"What's wrong?" he asked. His voice was still calm and unaffected as usual.

"Nothing," I replied. The pain had started receding. "I just have headaches sometimes."

He placed the back of his hand on my neck to check my temperature. I shuddered at his touch; his hands were cold.

"We should head back to Konoha," his voice came out worried.

"I have never failed a mission yet, and I won't be starting now," I said, feeling irritated.

"Why are you so stubborn?" he asked.

"Because I am a shinobi; I don't give up," I stated as if it was the most obvious answer.

In truth, though, I knew that if I didn't complete this mission, I would regret looking like a failure in Hatake's eyes. It sounded petty, but this was my only chance to prove that dedication and skill was much more powerful than the genetic advantage of being born a genius.

Forcing myself to ignore the pain, I pushed myself off of the futon and stood up.

"I'm fine, so can you please leave my room so I can get changed?"

Hatake remained quiet. I turned around and began reaching for my clothes that I had laid out on the floor.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I heard him leave the room and close the door behind him.

* * *

Hatake Kakashi was a strange man. His actions have begun to betray his usual pretense of indifference.

We had traveled several miles since the inn, during which he did not speak a single word to me. He did not read his book, either. He simply continued his steady pace forward, flinging himself from branch to branch. That is, when he didn't stop us every hour claiming that he needed to rest.

I wanted to say something to him, but I found myself welcoming the pauses in our journey. My headache had significantly worsened and I had begun to feel weak.

The sun beat down on us. The leaves and the tops of the trees did nothing to shade us from the heat. Sweat had begun to trickle down profusely from my head.

I grimaced as I tried to push the pain away from my thoughts. I reigned in my focus on the sound of Hatake's light footsteps in front of me.

I could feel that my chakra was waning, so I dug in my pack until I found a small pouch that contained soldier pills that I purchased from the Konoha apothecary before we had left. I took one of them and threw it in my mouth. I crunched down on it with my teeth and swallowed.

My chakra burst back to life. I increased my speed as I began running in step with Hatake. The headache was still there, but the adrenaline that now rushed through my body dulled the pain. Feeling more confident, I felt myself relax a little.

* * *

"Please!" I heard my own voice say. It sounded desperate.

"You know I can't give out that kind of information, Kei."

"I just need to know his name," I pleaded.

"What does it matter now? It is all in the past. You are a chunin now. You must look towards the future."

I buried my face in my hands. The smell of the smoke from his pipe was distinctly sweet and it made me feel sick.

"Please, Hokage-sama," I begged again.

"Kei, you must let go in order to move forward."

He placed a comforting hand on my back.

"Yes, I understand."

* * *

I stood at the edge of the cliff. There was no wind, but the night air was cold. I could sense that Hatake was asleep at our camp site which lay several yards away.

The wind was still, but the forests behind us and at the bottom of the cliff were alive with the rustling and scurrying of small animals.

I would be lying to myself if I said that I was not a coward. In fact, I had always been afraid, just like I am now. I tried to live my life with the purest of intentions: to help the people of Konoha, even though I knew that with every rank I was awarded and every mission I completed, I only thought of how I could get closer to the man I could not will myself to forget.

I took a step forward. I used my chakra to clamp the heels of my feet tightly to the ground underneath me while the front of my feet dangled off of the edge.

This obsession had always been a burden on me that I had no desire to unload. I had clung onto it for more than a decade. I had let it drag me down physically and mentally. But, still, I could not let go. I was still the young girl who he had come to save; who he held in his arms.

I removed my chakra from the balls of my feet and felt my body tilt forward.

I just wished that I could speak his name and see his face.

Gravity tugged at my body as if it hungered for me. I hungered for it, too.

As my inner turmoil evaporated into a sense of calm, I felt the pull of another force from behind me. It completely covered me in a prickling embrace. It droned in my ear in a loud buzz. It pulled me back from the edge by my arms.

The sense of calm quickly vanished. My head throbbed loudly as if in protest. The scent of soil and sap filled my nose. The pain of living rose to the surface again.

"Kei, why would you do something like that?" I could hear the unbridled anger in Hatake's voice.

I felt my back tremble as it touched his chest. I tried to move away but his large hands held my arms in an iron grip. His chakra pulsed against me wildly.

"Are lives so worthless that they are deemed disposable?" he asked in a strained voice.

Everyone knew that Hatake Sakumo had committed suicide some time ago, leaving behind his only son, Hatake Kakashi.

My headache returned and I felt my face flush with indignation.

"Coming from the man who has the blood of many on his hands!" I screamed. I jerked my arms and finally pulled away from him.

I turned around and made to move away from him when I felt one of his hands pull on my right arm and forcefully turn me back around. Before I could react, I gave a slight jump as I heard the metallic clang of something fall to the ground.

Hatake pulled my right arm up and placed it on his face. Without the obstruction of his headband, I could feel his hair tickle the back of my hand and the soft flutter of his eyelashes beating into my palm.

"Feel it," he said in a gravelly whisper.

I tried to pull my hand back, but it only made him squeeze his fingers tighter around the flesh of my wrist. I pulled back my left arm and threw my balled fist at his direction. He caught it with his other hand and held it against his steeled chest.

"Feel it," he demanded again. I could feel that the blood had stopped flowing through my hand.

With shaking fingers, I lightly traced my fingers over what he wanted me to feel: his scar. I could tell it was old by how smooth it what. But I could also feel that it ran long and deep straight through the middle of his left eye.

His chakra continued to thrum throughout my body in a relentless rhythm.

"Having witnessed the war, you would understand better than anyone the acts that we shinobi must commit in order to save the ones we love," he said.

I understood what he was saying, even though my stubbornness refused to let me acquiesce. A shinobi's existence was constantly plagued by the double-bind that ruled our lives: we must kill in order to protect.

"Do not lecture me, Hatake!" I spat out viciously, "You are not a better shinobi than me."

I held back my surprise when I felt him let go of both my wrists. As my arms drooped back to my sides, I quickly ran away from him and back to the campsite.


	4. Chapter 4

"Nothing yet," I said.

Hatake and I had finally made it to a small village on the outskirts of Amegakure. Our mission was to investigate recent intelligence that had been gathered by the ANBU. They suspected that the Akatsuki were funding their efforts through a criminal operation that was being run in this village. They had heard rumors that shinobi in black robes emblazoned with red clouds had passed through numerous times.

Through logical deduction, we suspected that their hideout was a small cave that was near the eastern exit of the village. We had been observing the entrance of the cave for the past two hours; during which, I did not sense any chakra presence in the vicinity besides our own.

"Let's go," he said. I heard him jump down from the tree that we had been hiding in.

Hatake seemed to have reverted back to his apathetic disposition and did not even mention what had happened last night. My head no longer hurt and I was feeling more energized than I had the day before. Things were returning to normal and I had begun to feel like myself again.

I bounded down from the tree and trailed after him. We softly treaded towards the entrance of the cave.

Once we entered, I could feel that the air inside was still and moist. The ground under my feet felt leveled, as if it had been worn down due to constant use. The cave also seemed to be completely submersed in a very distinct smell. I furrowed my brows as I felt a stinging sensation pound through my temples.

Hatake led us a few more feet down until we reached the end of the cave.

"If this was their hideout, they must have recently abandoned it," Hatake stated. I heard him kneel down and feel the ground near me with his hands.

"A campfire had been set up here not too long ago," he finished.

I inhaled and the pain rushed through my head again. I heard the muffled sounds of cries and could feel something warm drip down the sides of my arms. I smelled blood.

"I'm sorry," someone whispered in my ear. My neck felt cold and stiff.

I shook my head. How could I be dreaming when I am awake?

Hatake stepped towards me. The sharp tingle of his chakra brought me back to my senses.

"Iron," I said in a shaky breath. "I smell iron. I know where they are."

* * *

We swiftly ran through the trees as we followed the path of a small river several feet away from us. We were heading towards a mining shaft that we believed to be situated just outside the entrance gates of Amegakure.

We knew that Amegakure was considered a very industrial village. However, we were unsure of what connection the Akatsuki could possibly have with a mine that produces iron ore. Due to the lack of evidence, it would be also be too soon to suggest that the Village Hidden in the Rain and the Akatsuki were co-conspirers. Therefore, we had to reconnoiter properly before reporting back to the Hokage.

My breath hitched in my throat when I felt the sudden presence of at least six chakra entities.

"Hatake," I started.

"I know," he said in a low voice.

We continued running. Half of the group that was following us seemed to diverge from the rest and began catching up with us on each side; they were trying to surround us.

The air around us changed as it became humid. I knew it was time to act.

"See you when it's over," I said to Hatake.

He grunted in assent.

I performed a hand seal and stealthily jumped up into a tree as my clone continued running side by side with Hatake. The ninja that flanked us followed them.

As the ninja that pursued us from behind neared my proximity, I quickly performed another hand seal and felt my chakra burst through my hands as I released my Rolling Wind jutsu.

It didn't affect any of them as they had dodged out of the way. Without hesitation, I sensed their momentary surprise and launched several shuriken at them, with my chakra guiding the weapons at their direction. Two of them hit their mark right in one of the ninja's chest. He stopped breathing.

I jumped down from the tree and began to run towards them; my jutsu had cleared away their mist and I had already given away my location when I threw my shuriken.

"Over there!" I heard one of them yell.

"She's mine!" I heard the other say.

I closed in on the chakra that was nearest to me. Whipping out one of my kunai, I lunged towards him. I felt the air shift as he brought his arm up. I tried to steady myself as my kunai clashed with his in a loud clang.

I held back a wince as my head reacted to the sound by throbbing uncontrollably.

I could tell he was a very large man. I had to place my other hand on the handle of my kunai just to match the strength of his one arm. His breath was coming out in audible huffs as he let loose a deep chuckle.

I searched for Hatake's chakra and found it about thirty feet from me; it emitted a threatening and electrifying aura. I heard the crackle and chirp of his Chidori as a chakra presence near him was extinguished.

The man I was fighting let forth a gush of chakra as he pushed his kunai against mine. I felt my body fly backwards until it hit a tree trunk with a resounding crack. The back of my head bounced off of the wood and I slid down. Before I could even make sense of the pain, his fingers were already wrapped around my neck as he pinned me against the tree.

My head felt as if it was grinding against the base of my skull.

My hands reached out to claw at him, but his arms were too long and I couldn't reach. I dropped my right hand and dug in my hip pouch until I felt my finger enclose on the handle of a kunai. I pulled it out and stabbed his forearm.

He didn't let go. Instead, he laughed again.

His hand tightened around me. His palm started to close in on my windpipe. My lungs struggled for air.

I brought my hands together and rapidly performed twelve hand seals. I felt my chakra expand and enclose him in its presence. I could feel all the tiny air molecules being compressed together by my chakra. Without hesitation, I added weight to the air and moved it so that it was concentrated at the wrist that was holding me up.

I began to feel light-headed.

I willed the air to tighten around his wrist. His skin broke under the pressure. I pushed it to tighten again. His blood vessels popped, spewing out hot blood all over us. The stringy fibers of his ligaments split apart.

He cried out as he let go and I dropped back down to the ground.

I heard a woman scream. The pain in my head erupted. I grabbed at my hair and began pulling it. I heard the scream again: it was my mother.

I heard distant explosions in the recesses of my memory as my mother's sobs echoed loudly around me.

Without thinking, I wrapped my assailant's head with the newly manipulated air. I filled the space between the molecules with more of my chakra and allowed it build up in pressure until I felt his eardrums give way.

My mother's crying grew louder.

The air smoothly glided past his damaged ears. It enjoyed the feel of the soft tissue of his brain. I knew it was malleable the way it slightly bended inwards from the pressure. I expelled more of my chakra into the air. He screeched but abruptly stopped as his brain exploded out through his ears in the manner of pulsing bits of flesh.

His body fell lifelessly to the ground with a soft thud. His comrade shouted at me. I didn't understand what he was saying.

I slowly got up and started walking towards him.

I could sense the kunai being flung at me, but I did not dodge them. One landed at the top of my right shoulder. The other pierced me straight through the arch of my right foot. I fell on my knees, allowing the kunai to slice deeper into my foot.

I tried to thrust my chakra forward to reach him, but it only responded by flickering like a dying flame.

I heard my mother call out my name. The necklace around her neck appeared in my mind. The jewel that was set in it twinkled radiantly. I remembered now. It was yellow.

My opponent had released a jutsu. I could hear it in the form of needles whizzing and slicing through the air as they hurried to close the gap between us.

I felt blood crawl down from the wounds on my body.

As the needles continued to race towards me, I felt the ground underneath me shake. It began to rise up around me. I could feel the buzz of Hatake's chakra nearby.

The needles landed straight into the newly built wall in front of me with a loud crack.

With a smile, I resigned myself to embracing the white and quiet pull of death.

* * *

I'm floating.

No, I'm being carried…

He came to save me again.

I smelled of old rust. He smelled of old rust, too.

I can't move my body. But it is okay, he is carrying me and I know he will not let me go.

He is moving fast. I can feel the wind blowing past us.

"Please, tell me your name," I hear myself whisper.

He does not answer.

"I have searched for you my whole life," I continue.

I want to at least touch his face, but my hand refuses to listen to me.

"I love you," my voice sounds weak. "So, please. Don't let me go."


	5. Chapter 5

"Kei!" I heard her yell to me.

I ran through the grass as fast as my small legs would carry me.

Her skirt billowed around her legs. She had a smile on her face.

I kept running, though the distance between us seemed to grow.

The sun was bright and the wind swept through the trees.

I knew I would keep running because it made me happy.

She waved at me, almost as if to say farewell.

I shouted at her to stop.

I held out my arms and reached out to her.

She said she would wait for me.

* * *

I awoke with the strangest of feelings.

I felt abnormally light. The physical awareness was still there in my consciousness. However, something seemed to have been unburdened from me and it felt transcendental.

Is this death?

"Kei, are you awake?" I heard a voice ask. I recognized it immediately.

"Shizune-san?" my voice sounded faint.

"She's awake! Tell Tsunade-sama."

I heard someone run out of the room.

"What…" I lifted my hand and felt my face; it was covered all around in bandages.

"Do you remember what happened?" she asked.

"A little…" I replied. I lifted my head and pushed down on the bed to get up, but my body felt stiff.

"You were unconscious for seven days, so take it easy," she said. She placed her hand on my back and helped me sit up.

"How did I get here?"

"Kakashi brought you back. He ran back the whole way without stopping. You were barely breathing by the time he got here."

I felt a twinge of guilt. I knew I had been quite disagreeable towards him during the mission. I regretted it now.

"Shizune, is she awake?" Tsunade's voice resounded through the room.

"Tsunade-sama!" I exclaimed. I was glad to hear her voice.

"How are you feeling?" I heard her walk towards me.

"My body's a little sore, but I feel… somehow better than when I left."

"Kei, there is something I must ask you," Tsunade said. Her voice sounded serious.

"Yes, Tsunade-sama?" I asked, feeling a little uneasy.

"Have you recently had any severe headaches?"

I could feel my heart beat a little faster.

"Yes," I replied.

"How about auditory hallucinations?"

Panic began to bubble up in my heart.

"Yes, but I've had headaches all my life," I said quickly.

"And the hallucinations… well, they were actually more like my memories coming back… to life," I finished weakly.

I felt as if I was being condemned as shinobi that was unfit to carry out her duties.

"It's just as I thought," she muttered to herself.

Did she always see me as a failure?

"Shizune, unwrap the bandages around her head," she ordered.

"Wh-what's going on?" I stuttered.

"Kakashi told me that your behavior was strange during the mission. So after I healed your external injuries, I took a brief look into the condition of your mind."

I felt the blood drain from my face.

There was something wrong with me after all…

Shizune began unraveling the cloth that was wrapped around my chin.

"It appears that the blast from the explosion that caused you to lose your sight also severely damaged major parts of your brain. Considering that you were very young at the time, the damage did not heal properly."

I felt myself drift off into a light daze as Tsunade's words sunk into me slowly.

To think that my shinobi career would end like this…

"Consequently, as you grew older, new tissue developed around the injury. But, the damaged area continued to hamper the flow of blood through your brain. This is why you have had headaches all your life and the reason that they became more acute as you aged," she said. The words sounded practical as they rolled off of her tongue.

Shizune's hands were gentle as she continued rolling off my bandages.

"It also interrupted the flow of chakra throughout your entire body. Of course, the effects of this are quite similar to a genjutsu being cast on you. This explains the hallucinations that you were beginning to have."

I felt the bed sink in as Tsunade sat next to me.

"Essentially, you're mind had begun to attack itself," she finished.

All of my stress and the deterioration of my sanity now had a justification. Why did I still feel as if my self-destruction was a product of my own making?

I heard Shizune step away from as she gathered the last of the constraints around my head.

"Kei," Tsunade placed my hand in hers.

I tried to hide my surprise at the Hokage's sudden act of affection.

"Open your eyes," her voice said.

Open my eyes…

"I…" I trailed off.

She squeezed my hand in an act of reassurance.

The muscles in my eyelids quivered as they obeyed her request.

I gasped.

My heart jumped and my body shook as the visual sensation of light flooded my eyes. My mind struggled to understand what was happening. Shapes and colors seemed to float around me in hazy, undefined lines.

I looked down and knew through touch that my hands were in Tsunade's, but my mind also processed the visual aspect: the way her hands curved around mine and the soft shade of her flesh.

"I can see?" I asked in an interval of ragged breaths.

I stared at the woman in front of me. Her eyes were large and light and her hair was vibrant. The woman next to her was much smaller and had dark hair. I could see and understand what their faces emoted.

I felt dizzy.

My head turned to look around. I tried to breathe steadily as a bevy of beautiful colors burned through my synapses and flooded every cell of my being with light. My body moved off of the bed and walked towards the colors as if it was moving of its own accord.

Yellow, purple, blue, orange, and pink: the names of the colors rushed instantly towards my mind as if I had never forgotten them in the first place. This was the first sunset I had seen in almost two decades and it was breathtaking. I could not stop myself as tears rolled down my face in steady stream.

"I regenerated the damaged area of your brain, including your optic nerve," I heard Tsunade say from behind me. "Kei, I'm sorry you suffered for so long."

"With the limited capabilities of medical ninjutsu back then, and the war at the time…" her voice cracked.

I turned around and walked over to her. I could see my thin arms reach out to her until they fully enclosed her in an embrace. I rested my head on her shoulder as my tears began soaking through her robe.

"Thank you, Tsunade-sama."


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** I realized the tone of my story so far was quite serious, so I decided to make the next few chapters a little more light-hearted. I've also incorporated some footnotes, in case some of you are not familiar with the terms. Thank you to everyone who has been reading so far.

* * *

I, Sanu Kei, am apparently a very plain girl.

I scrunched my nose at my reflection in the mirror. I have long, black hair that is quite frizzy due to lack of maintenance and brown eyes that are not too small. My skin is white and clear and my nose is tiny. I'm also short in stature.

"Kei," I heard Shizune call out to me.

"I'm in here, Shizune-san."

I quickly put on my clothes that Tsunade had made one of her apprentices get from my apartment. I exited the bathroom and smiled as I saw Shizune standing next to the bed.

"Going home?" she asked.

"Yes," I answered, "Tsunade-sama checked on me earlier and she said that I can finally leave."

I folded the robe I was wearing and placed it on the bed.

"She said my vision would improve over time since I'm still in the healing process," I continued, "so I can't take on any missions yet."

I was worried because my vision was still a little blurry, but Tsunade had reassured me that like any other injury, it would get better over time.

"Don't worry, you'll be on active duty again before you know it," Shizune said as she placed a comforting hand on my back.

I stared at Shizune and couldn't help but feel a bit envious: she was quite attractive with the way her eyes were large and how her short black hair framed her petite face perfectly.

"Oh," she said, "Kakashi came by earlier in the afternoon when you were asleep. He wanted to see how you were doing."

"Hatake?" I asked. I bent down to put on my sandals and was glad that my long hair could obscure the blush that rose up on my cheeks.

"He just came back from a mission. Just in time for the matsuri(1) too!" she said with a smile.

_The matsuri?_

I was suddenly struck with a rather humorous, childhood memory of crying when my net broke after I was unable to scoop up a goldfish(2).

I stood up and walked with Shizune towards the door.

"Which means I'll have to try and keep Tsunade-sama busy with work," she muttered with a dreaded look on her face.

Then her face lit up.

"Ah, and I heard there will be fireworks this year!" she exclaimed.

"Will you be seeing them with anyone?" I asked politely.

"No," she said in a low voice. Her face collapsed back into a miserable expression.

"I'm sorry, Shizune-san!" I said, feeling terrible for having asked.

"No, Kei, it's not your fault that I never have anyone to spend holidays with."

Unable to stand the awkwardness, I broke the silence.

"I think I'll go check out the matsuri right now! I'm really wanting to eat some monja(3)!" I said as I waved good-bye and hurried down the hall.

* * *

I stepped out onto the street and was quickly overwhelmed by a dizzying array of sight and sound.

The streets were packed with civilians and shinobi alike. The lights were on in every single storefront and makeshift tents had been set up in the middle of the street by vendors who shouted out prices of their goods to passing customers. I heard the loud ramblings of people playing hanafuda(4) in a nearby parlor as small children donning fake ANBU masks ran past me. I smiled at a group of young women wearing beautiful yukata as they giggled and gave coy looks at young shinobi men.

My stomach growled and I was reminded that I hadn't had anything to eat all day. I continued walking down the street eagerly to my favorite monjayaki restaurant.

As I passed by several men arguing about who they were going to bet on at the sumo match, something caught my eye. Or rather, someone.

He was ambling through the street towards me while seeming to be engrossed in a book that he was reading. I squinted but my eyes were still unable to make out the title of the book.

The lower half of his face was completely covered by a black mask. His left eye was hidden by the strategic placement of his headband which also held up his silvery hair. He wore guard gloves, but I could see his fingers were long and slender as they flipped a page. He also wore a jounin vest that fit over his body well.

Feeling intrigued, I pretended to be interested in buying cream puffs from a vendor next to me while I threw sidelong glances at his direction. Just by observing, I already knew that he was an experienced shinobi who had once been a part of ANBU. I also decided that he must be intelligent and cultured by his love for reading.

I felt my stomach flutter a little as I wondered how I would approach him.

I did not date as I was always busy doing missions or training. I was also painfully shy around the opposite sex, which prevented me from ever pursuing anyone seriously.

He was stopped by a wizened old lady who appeared to be selling yakitori. He seemed to be listening to her and then he reached in his pocket and gave her some coins. She handed him a skewer.

I watched intently as his hand went up to his face and peeled down the edge of his mask. It was only for a brief second; only enough for him to slide a piece of chicken into his mouth, but I burned the image of his face into my mind.

To say that I found myself deeply attracted to him would be an understatement. My knees felt weak as they quivered at the joints and my heart thumped appreciatively for the gorgeous sight I had just witnessed.

Just as I realized how ridiculous I must look with a slack-jawed and dazzled expression on my face, he turned and stared at me. One look was enough to drive me over the edge as I felt my legs collapse from under me as if they were made from nothing more than jelly.

Before I could hit the ground, a strong pair of arms grabbed my torso and gently held me up as the back of my head came to rest on something firm and solid.

I looked up. My heart beat sped up and my cheeks burned as I realized my face was perilously close to the mysterious man's. I was about to melt away in his arms when he spoke.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

His voice was calm and smooth and sounded very familiar.

_No, he couldn't be._

"H-hatake?"

His one visible eye creased as if he were smiling.

"Yo."

I quickly pushed off away from his body and stood up on my own. I willed my heart beat return to its normal rhythm.

He walked over to pick up his book that he must have dropped on the ground when he prevented me from failing down. I looked at the cover again and wasn't surprised to see that it was 'Icha Icha.'

I came closer to him and noted that he was quite tall as he seemed to tower over me.

"You look much more different than I imagined," I stated.

His eye widened.

"Kei, can you see?"

I nodded.

"Thanks to Tsunade-sama," I said with a smile.

"Kei, that's amazing," he said, sounding very taken aback.

He stepped towards me and slightly held out his arms before suddenly dropping them back down at his sides, as if he made to embrace me but decided against it at the last minute.

I looked away, pretending that I didn't notice.

"Hatake…" I started. I knew I owed him an apology.

Before I could finish, though, we heard the loud yelling of the most recognizable voice in Konoha: the Godaime Hokage's.

We turned around and saw her walking towards us with Shizune and Tonton following close behind.

"Kei! Kakashi!" she said exuberantly.

"Good evening, Tsunade-sama," I said with a wary expression.

"I was just going to have dinner and maybe some drinks. Why don't you two join me?" she asked.

_Drinks? Oh, no…_

"I was actually planning on heading home so I can get a head start tomorrow on my training," I tried to avoid making eye contact with her so I stared at the rhombus on her head instead.

"I need to go home and catch up on my sleep," Hatake said calmly.

Tsunade's expression quickly changed into one of disapproval.

"Kei, I told you not to overexert yourself for the next few days. So, you shouldn't be doing anything physical. And Kakashi, you only want to go home so you can read those books of yours."

"Well, you see, that mission I had today was very tiring…" Hatake chuckled nervously as he scratched the back of his head.

"I only wanted to treat my two favorite jounin to dinner, but I guess it is too much for me to ask," she said with a feigned look of hurt on her face.

"Well, I suppose we could stay for an hour," I said with a grimace.

Hatake shook his head vigorously as I spoke the words.

"That settles it!" Tsunade said with a wide smile.

"But there is so much paperwork to be done at the office!" Shizune spoke up.

"That can all be done tomorrow, silly girl. Now let's go relax a little," Tsunade barked.

She walked past us and into the entrance of the monjayaki restaurant. When she was gone from sight, Hatake and I both let out a long sigh.

"I'm sorry," Shizune said in an exasperated voice, "I tried to keep her in the office…"

"What are you three still standing there for?" we heard Tsunade yell as she popped her head out from the door.

With our heads hanging down, we one by one ambled through the door.

* * *

1. **matsuri:** Japanese for festival or holiday.

2. **goldfish scooping:** one of the many games you can enjoy playing in a real matsuri. It involves having to scoop as many goldfish you can with a small net that is really thin and paper-like. It usually breaks before you can even catch one (at least for me, it always breaks). But even if you lose, the vendor is mostly nice enough to give you one of any kind of gold fish you want as a consolation prize.

3. **monja (monjayaki): **a type of food; it is consisted of stir fried vegetables and batter that you pour onto a grill and eat right after it is cooked. It is eaten with small metal spatulas.

4. **hanafuda:** playing cards. The cards have flowers on them (among other things that I don't remember). My mother plays this game a lot, though I don't know the actual rules of it.


	7. Chapter 7

I cringed as Tsunade slammed her sake glass down.

The vegetables sizzled as they sat on the grill that was placed in the middle of the table. Shizune poured more rice wine into Tsunade's glass.

My face was already feeling slightly warm from the alcohol. I had forgotten how many I have had so far. I kept looking at Hatake surreptitiously in hopes of catching a glimpse of his uncovered face again. However, it was in vain as he was very quick every time he threw the glass back and swallowed. The amount of alcohol he had already consumed also didn't seem to affect his awareness.

Sighing loudly, I poured some more wine and took another swig.

The restaurant seemed to be just like every other in Konoha. The table and chairs were square and wooden. The dividers that blocked us in from the other tables were also made from wood. We could hear fragments of dialogue from a table that was near us.

Picking up one of the small metal spatulas, I mixed the vegetables around and then created an opening in the middle. I picked up the bowl of batter and slowly poured it in. The ingredients responded as they started making a loud crinkling noise and steam swiftly streamed upwards to the ceiling.

"They've started work on the mountainside," Shizune said to Tsunade.

I looked at Tsunade and Shizune from across the table. Hatake was sitting in the chair next to me.

"They better do a good job. I told them that if they got me wrong, I will make them do it all over again," Tsunade said while laughing.

"Mountainside?" I asked.

"The monument of the Hokage," Hatake stated. He sat very still next to me as he leaned his elbows on the table.

"Oh… I remembered the last time that I saw the mountainside images there were only the carvings of the Shodai, Nidaime, and the Sandaime Hokage," I said absentmindedly as I stared at the food. It was almost ready and my stomach growled in anticipation.

"The Yondaime Hokage's didn't do him justice," Shizune said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Many women were very fond of Minato," Tsunade said with a smile.

"He was quite handsome," Shizune said with a rather dreamy look on her face.

"Snap out of it, Shizune. There is no use in pining for someone who has already passed," Tsunade barked.

The mood at the table quickly turned to one of solemn reflection.

"We will all come to pass sooner or later," Tsunade said quietly. She waved her hand in the air as beckoned for one of the waitresses.

Hatake shifted in his seat as he brought his elbows off the table.

"Three more bottles of sake over here," she shouted out.

The monja seemed about ready to eat. As etiquette dictated, I waited for Tsunade and the others to eat first.

"You really shouldn't be drinking so much," Shizune scolded Tsunade. "You promised Iruka that you'd be at the Academy tomorrow morning."

"Ah, about that," Tsunade started. She picked up one of the spatulas and cut off a piece of the monja.

The waitress placed three bottles of rice wine on our table.

"Kei, are you doing anything tomorrow?" she asked.

"No, but-"

"Great! You just need to give a little presentation on what it's like to be a full-fledged shinobi," she said as she gulped back another shot.

I refrained from groaning.

I don't like children very much. I usually feel awkward around them.

"Tsunade-sama, you know that I'm not really good with children," I pleaded.

"That's why Kakashi will go with you," she said matter-of-factly.

"I will?" he asked in an incredulous voice.

_Huh?_

"So it's all settled then!" Tsunade exclaimed.

"But Tsunade-sama, the students have specifically requested to see you!" Shizune said in slight irritation.

Tsunade continued to eat. Tonton sniffed the air, curious about what we were eating.

Mollified by the fact that Hatake would have to suffer as well, I grabbed my spatula and began eating too.

"Whatever happened to the mine that Hatake and I were investigating?" I asked.

I gave out a small sigh as I began chewing the food. I love monja when it is slightly burnt at the bottom.

"I'm having ANBU keep an eye on it," Tsunade stated.

"There's not really much we can do now," Hatake spoke up.

There was no more monja on my side of the grill. I looked at Hatake's and saw that he had not touched any of his food. I stared at it longingly.

"Without any definite evidence that the mine is used to fund the Akatsuki, we can't make an outright accusation," Tsunade continued. "It could set back all our efforts for peace."

I held back a smile as Hatake siphoned off his section of the monja and pushed it towards me. I happily obliged.

"I forgot to ask you earlier," Shizune's face lit up as she looked at me. "Are you going to see the fireworks with anyone this year?"

My cheeks began to burn. I wasn't sure if it was from the alcohol or Shizune's question.

"I haven't actually really had time to date…" I said quietly.

"You better hurry before it's too late," Shizune said worriedly.

I knew that Shizune has been quite torn up about the fact that she was quickly approaching an infertile age and she had yet to find a partner.

Hatake remained still.

"Shizune! This isn't the place to discuss something like this," Tsunade scolded.

I grabbed an almost empty bottle and poured more wine into my glass. Without thinking, I swallowed the whole thing.

I turned to my side and looked at Hatake. He was staring back at me with a deadpan expression. I could make out the shape of his nose through the mask. I quickly looked away as I found myself remembering his naked face again.

"The betting tables are going to close soon," Tsunade muttered.

She stood up briskly and beckoned Shizune to do the same.

"Let's go," she barked.

"Tsunade-sama-" Shizune started.

"You two," Tsunade said in a stern voice, "don't forget about tomorrow."

She gave a soft smile and quickly headed out through the opening of the dividers with Shizune and Tonton following her.

"I suppose we should head out as well," I said. I stood up from my chair and raised my hands towards the ceiling as I stretched. Hatake also got up from his seat.

We walked towards the exit when our waitress stopped us from leaving.

"You've forgotten to pay!" she exclaimed.

"Pay?" I asked. "Pay for what?"

"For the tab you left open," she explained.

"Tsunade-sama didn't pay?"

"No, it hasn't been paid yet," she replied.

I made a small noise of frustration. Hatake sighed loudly.

"Well," he said in an exhausted voice, "how much is it?"

"7,000 ryo, sir," she said.

"7,000?" I asked in disbelief.

She gave a small smile.

I reached into the pocket of my vest and took out a small pouch. I dumped the coins in the palm of my hand and counted my money. I had less than a 1,000 ryo.

Hatake looked at me and gave a small laugh. I couldn't help but smile.

"It's okay, I'll pay for it," he said.

"Thanks," I said sheepishly. "I'll make sure that Tsunade-sama pays you back."

I walked outside onto the street while Hatake settled the payment. I looked up at the night sky and felt a sense of calm. I felt at ease with myself. I maybe even felt a little happy.

"Would you like me to walk you home?"

I turned my head and saw Hatake also staring up at the sky.

"I'm not that drunk," I stated.

"Still, a woman shouldn't have to walk at night by herself."

"There are so many people around! Besides, are you forgetting that I am a very capable jounin?"

I couldn't see that many stars since there were so many lights all around us. However, I could see a few twinkling away in the darkness.

"Hatake…" I trailed off.

He tilted his head to the side in an inquiring manner as he looked at me.

"I wanted to apologize for the way I acted during our mission. I'm sorry."

I looked up at the sky again and felt myself become startled when I heard a loud bang. Cheers and gasps of excitement rang out around us. The fireworks had started.

I tiptoed to see better, but the buildings around us were too tall and obscured our view in the direction the fireworks were being shot from.

"Follow me," I heard Hatake say.

I looked at him and saw him as he jumped on the roof of the building adjacent to us from us.

I followed him as he jumped from roof to roof through clothes wires and past balconies. We stopped when we reached the edge of roof. There was the ledge of another building across from it. We jumped over the wide gap and climbed up a small ladder that led all the way up to the roof.

I smiled. Smoke and light danced upwards towards the thin clouds before they exploded in a shower of color. The small slivers of light shivered as they made their descent towards the ground. They almost seemed to be falling down on us before they evaporated into the air.

I could sense Hatake standing behind me.

"Kei," he breathed out.

I turned around. He was leaning against the wall of the building with his arms folded lightly across his chest.

"When you were unconscious," he continued, "you said some strange things to me."

I admired the glow from the fireworks that shaded Hatake's hair in a wild mix of colors.

"Did I?" I asked. I looked back up at the sky.

I heard him move off the wall until he was standing close behind me.

"You seemed to think that I was someone else," he spoke. "You kept asking me for my name."

"I…" I trailed off.

The air was still yet quite cold. I rubbed my hands on my arms. My vision became hazy so I closed my eyes. My head was spinning.

"I'm going to go home," I said.

As I tried to hurriedly walk past him, my vision monetarily blurred and my foot caught itself in a crack on the roof. I fell hard.

"Kei!" Hatake rushed over to me. His hands pulled me up and turned me around so that I was no longer facing the ground. My left ankle throbbed and my cheek felt raw.

"I'm fine," I said in an irritated voice. I pushed myself off of him but immediately fell back down as I felt my ankle bend awkwardly as it gave way.

"Your ankle's twisted," he said. Without hesitation, he put his arms under my legs and around my back and lifted me up until I was nestled against his chest.

"Hatake!" I screamed, "Put me down!"

"Calm down," he said in his usual voice.

I felt him jump and I closed my eyes as he landed us softly on another building.

"Which district do you live in?" he asked. I could still hear the fireworks bursting away.

"Hatake! I'm fine! I can take myself," I said again.

He remained quiet. His hold around my body tightened.

I looked up at his face and could make out the delicate yet masculine point of his chin. His hair fluttered around as he jumped down and we were back on the ground again.

Feeling tired from all the excitement and alcohol, I decided to give in.

"District C," I said weakly.

I couldn't help but feel comfortable and safe in his arms. They reminded me so much of _his_.

* * *

I winced as Hatake tightly wrapped a bag of ice around my left ankle with a long piece of cloth. He tied it together into small knot.

I was sitting on the edge of my bed and Hatake was kneeling in front of me. His fingers were warm as they gently held my calf.

"You should have it checked tomorrow," he said.

He gently placed my foot back on the ground. He stood up and walked over to my small kitchen. He took one of the towels hanging on one of the hooks above the sink and ran it under the faucet.

After he squeezed the excess water out, he walked back over and knelt down in front of me again. He placed his elbow on the bed next to me and leaned towards me.

I blushed furiously as he lifted his other arm and began rubbing the wet cloth against the scrape on my cheek.

There was something about this wholly alien feeling of being so physically close to someone that it made me feel heady and high. It made me feel as if only I could close the distance between us, it would feel even better.

I remembered the feel of his scar and the memory of it lingered on my fingertips like a ghost sensation.

With my breath coming out in shaky huffs, I wrapped my arms around his head slowly until they found the knot of his headband. His body froze. My chest heaved slowly as I was aware that it was quite close to his face.

My fingers pulled at the headband until it came loose and the headband slid off and fell to the floor. His left eye was closed, but the scar that ran through it was long and strangely enough, made him look even more enchanting. My fingers softly traced along it until it reached the edge of his mask.

My heart began to beat violently. I hooked my fingers under the edge of the mask and made to peel it down when his hand quickly shot up and roughly held my wrist in place.

I stared at him in shock as his one open eye stared at me with intense seriousness.

"I'm sorry," I said in a small voice.

He let go of my wrist and picked up his headband off of the floor.

Without a word, he walked out of my house while closing the door behind him.

I collapsed on my bed and felt forlorn as the loneliness of the room pressed against me like heavy, suffocating air.


	8. Chapter 8

"Iruka?"

"Kei, what are you doing here?"

I stared at the man in front of me in astonishment; Iruka's physical appearance was quite the opposite of his personality. His tan skin, the scar across his nose, and the way he stood with a distinct aura of authority and masculinity betrayed the image of how I had always pictured him.

"Iruka!" I yelled out happily.

I threw my arms around his neck and embraced him fully without any concern as to how tightly I pressed my chest towards his. As I pulled back, he seemed quite embarrassed from the sudden show of affection because his face was an obvious shade of red.

Iruka had always been kind to me. After years of being a chunin, I had almost given up hope in becoming a jounin. If it wasn't for Iruka who was always there to listen to me, I would have probably folded from the pressure a long time ago.

"Iruka, I can see," I said with a smile.

His eyes widened.

"What do you mean?" he asked sounding confused.

"I can see!" I said again. "I didn't know you had such long hair."

"You can see," he said slowly.

I grinned in confirmation.

"Kei…" his voice cracked.

He pulled me towards him as we hugged each other tightly again.

"Congratulations," he said in a soft voice.

* * *

"With knowledge of the proper application of chakra, you can develop your own techniques," I said.

Many of the children in front of me were dozing or staring off into space. The bright sunlight and the cool breeze of the wind must be making them sleepy. Iruka stood under a tree in the back as he observed his students.

"Can you show us your technique?" a small boy in front asked me.

"Do you have a pencil?" I asked him.

He dug in his pocket and held one up to me.

"Okay, just hold it up like that," I said.

I performed my hand seals and focused my chakra towards the pencil. I manipulated the space between the air molecules and pushed it to wrap around the pencil. I applied more pressure until it split in half with a loud crack.

"Awesome!" the boy cried out.

I smiled, but it quickly turned into a frown when I realized the children were still half-asleep.

"Ah, sorry I'm late," I heard a familiar voice.

_Hatake._

My stomach turned upside down and I felt queasy.

"I seemed to have gotten lost on the way here," his visible eye was smiling.

_Liar._

Some of the children's heads perked up as they looked inquisitively at Hatake. I wasn't surprised though; Hatake is a more visually interesting person compared to me.

Since the spotlight had been stolen, I walked towards Iruka in the back and tried to look pleasant. Inside though, I felt strangely anxious and my breathing was erratic.

_Calm down._

I watched as the children started interacting with him. They were wide awake now.

"Show us your technique, too!" the same boy shouted.

"Well," Hatake's voice drawled.

I felt his chakra burst suddenly as it sent electrifying shivers throughout my body. His right hand was immersed in a vibrant blue that glowed as sparks set off in all directions from it. I could hear the distinct sound of chirping birds.

"This is called the Chidori," he said.

The children made sounds of amazement.

"I never figured he'd be so popular with kids," I tried to keep my voice normal. I refused to believe that Hatake's presence could have this kind of effect on me: I was angry at him. Yet, I also felt quite elated to see him.

"Me neither," Iruka said, smiling at me.

"Iruka, I missed you," I said in a small voice. "I feel like I haven't seen you in weeks."

"It has been weeks," he said as he turned to me. His hair that had been carefully gathered into a ponytail swung in the wind.

"Kei, I've been meaning to ask-"

He was cut off as the sound of a loud gong reverberated throughout the grounds.

"Everyone, head back to the classroom!" Iruka yelled out to the children.

They got up and slowly trudged back into the building.

"Kei," Iruka started.

"I'll talk to you later," I said. I gave him an expression of understanding.

We waved at each other as he followed the children inside.

Hatake stared at me from across the distance. I still felt embarrassed about what had happened last night. Looking away, I quickly turned and walked towards the main road.

I felt a twinge of annoyance as I heard Hatake hurrying over towards me until he was walking directly behind me.

"Why are you following me?" I asked without looking at him. When I reached the sidewalk, I turned into the street that led to my apartment.

"You shouldn't lead him on," Hatake said, completely dismissing my question.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. I continued walking. I was hoping that he would just disappear.

"He likes you," he said.

"Who?" I asked. I stopped walking and turned around. I glared at Hatake.

"Iruka," he stated calmly.

I laughed out loud.

"Iruka? We're close friends. Nothing could ever happen between us."

"He likes you," he repeated.

I rolled my eyes. As I was about to walk away, Hatake's visible eye denoted a tone of seriousness.

"You shouldn't hurt him unnecessarily," he continued, "since you love someone else already."

My face flushed at his statement. However, I felt more anger than embarrassment.

"You don't know what you're talking about," I said coldly.

"Then why don't you tell me about it?" he asked.

My jaw clenched involuntarily as I forced myself to calm down. I tried to turn away from him. Almost as if he could predict my actions, he held onto my arm before my eyes could look away from his.

"Tell me, Kei," he asked me as if it was a simple request.

I stared at him. I was hesitant to say more, but the invitation of having someone to speak to about what I was feeling brought a strange sense of relief to me. Hatake let go of my arm and I looked down at the floor.

"I do love someone," I said quietly, "but I don't know who he is. I don't know his name. I don't even know if he's real. And whenever I think of him…"

My eyes began to water as I tried in vain to keep them from flooding completely with my tears. Hatake seemed to be too unbearably close to me.

He stood still as he waited for me to continue.

"…I feel lonelier than ever," I finished.

I could hear the distant sounds of laughter nearby as people went about their business.

"Our existence as shinobi is always filled with loneliness," he stated.

I gave a wry laugh.

"That's your answer? I lay everything out and that's all you can say?"

I looked up at him. I felt infuriated.

"How can you stand here and tell me to confide in you when you won't even show me your face?"

His eye widened in shock. I shook my head at the lack of his response.

Without another word, I ran back home as my tears flowed freely from my eyes.

* * *

Someone kept knocking on my door.

I was laying face down on my bed. My head pounded and my eyes had difficulty in opening. I had drunk too much the night before.

With all the strength I could muster, I forced my body to peel itself off of the bed. My feet moved heavily and slowly as I made it to the door and opened it.

"Kei!"

I squinted as sunlight flooded into the house. My eyes adjusted to the brightness. I saw Iruka's smiling face.

"Iruka," I said weakly.

He frowned.

"What happened, Kei?" he asked.

"Nothing," I replied. I moved to the side, allowing him to enter. I walked over to my small dining table and sat down. "I just haven't been getting much sleep these days."

I had suffered from insomnia from the past few days. It had become hard to fall asleep like I used to.

Why did I keep seeing Hatake's face in my mind? Why did I keep repeating our argument in my head? Why did it make me feel so… unhappy whenever I thought about it? Shouldn't I be happy? I could see again. But why did it feel as if I was missing something? Why did I feel so empty?

He closed the door softly behind him, which I was thankful for.

"This should help," he placed a can of iced coffee in front of me.

He took the chair across from me as he placed a small plastic bag on the table.

"I got us some bento bowls," he said. He rummaged through the bag and took out two small containers of food. He passed one to me along with a pair of disposable chopsticks.

I smiled at the contents. Iruka had bought me an unagi-don(1).

The first lunch he ever bought me was an unagi-don from the convenience store. Iruka was truly sweet to have remembered.

"Ittadakimasu!" I exclaimed, trying to feign a smile.

"When are you returning to active duty?" Iruka asked. He broke his chopsticks apart and opened his food.

I shrugged as my mouth was full with food.

"You should teach," he suggested.

I swallowed loudly.

"I don't think I could stand being in a room full of kids for a whole day," I said indignantly.

He gave out a light laugh.

We sat in silence for awhile as we ate our food.

"Have you seen Hatake around lately?" I asked suddenly.

It had been almost a week since I had last seen him.

"Oh, you haven't heard?" Iruka took a sip from his drink. "He's in the hospital. His last mission must have gone wrong."

"The hospital?" I almost choked on my food.

I quickly stood up making my chair fall backwards onto the floor.

"What's wrong?" Iruka looked up at me with a puzzled expression.

"I have to go," I ran to the door and slipped into my shoes. Iruka followed me.

"Where are you going?" he asked, his voice sounded exasperated.

I felt guilty, but I had to go and see Hatake.

"Can you lock up when you leave?"

I gave him a small, reassuring smile as I opened the door and ran out.

* * *

"Shizune-san!" I shouted.

She looked up from the documents that she was reading.

"Kei, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"Hatake," I straightened myself out as she stared at the nightclothes that I was wearing. "I came to see Hatake."

"Well, he's sleeping right now, so it'd be pointless to…" she reached over and picked off a small grain of rice off of my cheek that had probably been stuck to my face the whole time.

I laughed weakly in embarrassment.

"Why are you dressed like that? Did you just wake up?" she asked.

"What room is he in?" I looked around distractedly.

"The one down the hall. But like I said, he's-"

I quickly darted past her and ran down the hall until I reached the last room. I burst through the door and stopped in front of the bed.

Hatake lay very still on the bed. A blanket covered him halfway to his chest. His mask was still on, but his headband was gone and his scar showed like a prominent flaw across his otherwise tranquil face. His chest rose and fell with his breathing.

I heard Shizune enter the room.

"What happened to him?" I asked.

I felt an overwhelming urge to reach over and hug him.

"He had sustained severe internal injuries," Shizune said.

Shinobi are considered weapons of war. A shinobi's lifespan is considerably shorter than a civilian's. I always went into a mission knowing full well that the possibility of death was present.

"He is extremely lucky that he had a medical-nin in his team. She just started learning medical ninjutsu, so she was able to keep him alive long enough for them to reach Konoha," Shizune continued.

Hatake had saved me. If he wasn't there, would I have died?

"Why doesn't every team have a medical-nin?"

Some shinobi are almost invincible. Some shinobi can bend time and space. But, we are all made of layers of skin, blood, and bone; these are all things that can easily be pierced and broken. It doesn't make sense how we can have so much power yet be so fragile like every other living creature.

Shizune stepped closer to me as she also observed Hatake.

"We lack the manpower," Shizune stated.

I pulled the edge of the blanket and tucked it neatly under Hatake's chin.

* * *

Tsunade stared at me with a furious expression.

"Why are you barging into my office?" she asked in a threatening voice.

The sunlight was almost painfully bright as it covered the expanse of the room. It seemed to perfectly mirror the state of how I felt: a light had been lit in every dark corner.

"Tsunade-sama," I breathed out as my whole body quivered from this new and strange feeling of true purpose.

"What is it, Kei?" her expression changed into one of worry.

"Please teach me medical ninjutsu."

* * *

1. **Unagi**: Eel. If you haven't tried it, you should! It may sound gross, but trust me, it's not!


	9. Chapter 9

I stepped in quietly. The curtains were slightly drawn, but the sun still able to flow in the room.

I walked over to the bedside table and set down a small glass vase. I had bunch of anemones that I picked from the garden that was near my apartment and placed it in the vase. The petals were pure white and the centers were a happy yellow. I smiled. Wildflowers have always been my favorite type of flowers for they could grow anywhere and in practically any season. They were living proof that strength and beauty could come alive anywhere it was wished to grow.

"So you're the one who's been bringing me flowers every day."

I turned quickly and I made a loud hissing noise as I banged my knee against the table.

Hatake was sitting up in the bed with the blanket carelessly draped around his waist. He was wearing a sleeveless undershirt and I could see the sinewy muscles of his pale yet defined arms. A mask still covered the lower half of his face.

"Did I wake you?" I asked. My heart felt as though it skipped a beat.

"No, I wasn't asleep," Hatake said.

His left eye was shut tight, but his right eye stared at me unblinkingly.

"Thank you for the flowers."

I involuntarily rubbed my knee as it was throbbing painfully.

"Are you okay?" he asked. His voice was calm and cool.

"I'm fine," I replied, "I was actually hoping you were awake."

I arranged the flowers until they were evenly spread out.

"I'm sorry for what I said the last time we met," my voice quivered like it was unsure of itself.

"Don't apologize. I was too quick to judge you."

I reached up and placed my hand over my chest. My heart ached just like my knee. I grimaced from the pain.

"What's wrong?" A look of concern flashed over his face.

"I feel…" I was unsure of how I could begin to explain the sensations, "I feel like my heart could just…"

He gave me a quizzical look. I once again felt the urge to touch his scar. I looked down at my sandals.

"You can tell me," he assured me.

Why did I feel as if I wanted to confess to him? What could I possibly want to say to him so badly?

"The day my parents died, I felt like there was a huge hole in the middle of my being," the words began to come out faster as if they were slowly giving me the strength to continue. "Back then, I forced myself to be busy and I forgot about it. But, when I'm around you, it feels like it's being filled until it could just burst…"

I refused to look him in the eye. I didn't even understand what I was saying or where it was coming from.

"When I feel lonely, I think of you. And somehow, it doesn't seem so terrible anymore," the words left my mouth and my cheeks burned with the hot flush of my blood.

Did I really feel this way?

I couldn't look at him yet.

_No, I can't look at you._

He didn't make a sound, nor did he move. The silence rang like an unpleasant intrusion in my ears.

_Where did all these words come from?_

My eyes began to water at the corners. Hatake's lack of words deflated me.

Before the tears fell, I felt him grab my right hand and forcefully pull on it. My body fell down on the bed until I was sitting on his lap and my eyes were facing his.

I blushed at the position I was in. His thighs were all hard muscle against the soft flesh of my buttocks.

"H-hatake," I stuttered.

In one fluid motion, he pulled down the edge of his mask until I was allowed to take in the sight of his newly exposed face.

My heart thumped wildly and I felt strangely excited.

His hand let go of my mine and slowly crawled up my neck. He slightly tilted my head at an angle. Without a word, he leaned in closer.

He breathed steadily out through his nose while I breathed erratically. My eyes closed involuntarily and I felt his lips touch mine.

He was kissing me; it was ardent yet restrained at the same time. I never knew kisses were so soft.

My lips responded by pursing gently against his. My left hand reached up and clung onto his chest desperately. I felt that if I let go, I would surely melt straight through his arms and onto the floor.

His chakra vibrated around me in a pleasurable rhythm that seemed to ebb and flow with his every breath.

His lips pulled away and my eyes flew open.

He had a hungry expression on his face as he looked into my eyes.

"I like you, too," he said in a husky voice.

Goosebumps raced across my skin like a fire at his words.

Before I could respond, I heard the door open. I pulled away from Hatake and jumped off of the bed.

"Kei?" I heard a voice.

My face was red as I tried to stand upright. My knees shook and adrenaline was pumping throughout my body. I looked over at who entered.

"Ah, Shizune-san!" I exclaimed in a quite unnatural manner.

I looked at Hatake. The mask was over his face again and he smiled with his eye as he greeted Shizune like nothing happened.

She must not have seen anything, though, as she kept a neutral expression.

"Tsunade-sama's been waiting for you," she said.

I had forgotten that I had a lesson with her today.

"I can't believe I forgot!" I said out loud.

Without looking back, I rushed out of the room.

* * *

I cracked the shell against the rim of the pot and broke it apart until I was able to spill the insides out. The yolk plopped into the soup and immediately began cooking.

Earlier, I was late to my lesson with Tsunade because of Hatake. I had been so close to him... It felt like the hot burn of his kiss still lingered on my lips.

I sighed heavily as I leaned on the countertop.

How could I like him when I was in love with someone else for practically my whole life? Could it even be called love? I had never forgotten about him and I knew that I could not give him up. What was I doing with Hatake? Why did I feel so guilty?

I jumped a little as I heard knocking on my door.

I walked over to my door and flung it open.

My heart fluttered.

"H-hatake," I stuttered.

He had his usual shinobi clothes on with his headband tied firmly over his head. His hair was as silvery as the moon behind him.

I looked away.

"What are you doing out of the hospital?" I asked, regaining my composure.

"They released me today," he said.

He walked closer to me until his feet were almost across the threshold.

"Besides," his voice was perfectly smooth, "even if they hadn't, I would have snuck out to see you anyway."

I felt embarrassed by his brazen honesty.

And then, I remembered.

"Ah!" I screamed, "My ramen!"

I ran back to the kitchen to find that the soup had overflowed from boiling too much. The stove was a mess and the egg had all broken apart.

I grumbled as I turned off the heat and placed the pot in the sink.

"Instant ramen for dinner?"

I turned around and glared at Hatake, who was now standing in my kitchen with an amused look on his face.

"Now inedible because of you," I stated.

His chakra flickered for a brief second. I felt strangely warm as I sensed that he was standing behind me.

"I'm sorry," he breathed into my ear.

My neck tingled in response.

I turned around and looked up at his face. I wanted to turn away yet embrace him at the same time.

"Let me make it up to you. How about I buy you ramen at Ichiraku?"

"I'm fine, I'll just make another one," I said weakly.

His hands reached up until they cupped the sides of my face. He then lowered his face and it was painfully torturous as he let his lips hover over mine.

My heart had never beaten this crazily before.

_Was it possible that I..._

I could barely feel his breathing because of his mask. I imagined what it would be like to rip it off and ravage his naked face. I loved his face.

_Did I love him?_

I blushed at my own thoughts. I shook my head and pushed him away. His body felt warm through the thickness of his clothes.

"Ichiraku sounds good," I said.

I hurriedly walked to the door and slipped into my sandals. He seemed to be amused as he followed me out the door.

I couldn't love him. I already loved someone else.

_Besides…_

The night air was still and silent. The street was not empty yet, but the crowd had considerably thinned since earlier this afternoon.

_There is no such thing as love at first sight. Real-life love wasn't like the love story out of Icha Icha Paradise. Real-life love is intangible._

Hatake walked in step with me. His hands were casually placed in his pockets.

But why did I feel so weak and faint when I first saw him? Sure, one could say he's physically appealing. But I find many other men physically appealing now that I can see.

"Is something wrong?" his voice broke through my train of thought.

"No," I said quietly, "I'm just thinking."

"What are you thinking about?"

We took a turn down the street.

"Nothing," I lied.

_I wish I knew why I was feeling like this._

"Hatake," I stopped in the middle of the road.

He stopped too. He looked at me. I felt very awkward about what I was about to ask.

"What you said earlier at the hospital about…" My face heated up again.

I berated myself for being so nervous. It was a simple question. Why couldn't I just ask it?

"When I said that I liked you?" he finished for me.

I nodded, though I felt embarrassed at his directness.

"How do you know you like me?" I asked.

He stared at me intently.

"I liked you since the first time I saw you."

_What?_

"I knew you were stubborn. And I knew you didn't like me very much," he continued, "but for some reason, I felt like I wanted to get to know you better."

His eye seemed to twinkle against the backdrop of the stark darkness of the sky.

"I like you, Kei."

My heart pounded again like a drum.

He exposed the lower half of his face. I felt myself move towards him.

I sighed softly as his lips finally touched mine. His hands felt impossibly warm as they dug their way in through my hair.

_I can't help myself when you do this to me. You're like a magnet; I'll eventually be pulled into you until I'm swept away._


	10. Chapter 10

"Iruka!" I exclaimed in surprise.

The tan man was standing at my doorstep with what appeared to be two large brown bags of groceries.

"Hey, Kei," he chuckled nervously, "Are you busy?"

"No, I was just reading," I said.

I moved aside to let him in. I closed the door behind him and followed him into my kitchen. He placed the two bags on the counter and started taking out the contents.

"What's all this?" I asked. I picked up a small bunch of carrots and looked at it with interest.

"I'm going to make dinner for us," he said.

"You don't have to do that," I said.

He folded down the now empty bags and placed them aside. He slid open a drawer and took out a vegetable peeler.

"I thought you'd appreciate a nice home-cooked dinner instead of the usual instant ramen you eat."

"I don't always eat instant ramen!" I said indignantly.

"Food from the convenience store doesn't count," he said.

I had nothing more to say, considering he was right.

Iruka placed the carrots along with some onions and potatoes in the sink and turned on the faucet.

"Curry okay for you?" he looked at me and smiled.

"Iruka, you really don't have to…" I said.

I thought about what Hatake had said before about Iruka liking me. However, he was always doing nice things for me. We are close friends, after all.

Iruka turned around and stared at me unblinkingly.

"I love doing things for the people I care about," he said.

I gave a small smile.

"Now go and relax. I've got everything under control here."

"Okay," I sighed.

I walked over to my couch and collapsed on it.

_What am I going to do?_

Iruka never really came out and said that he liked me. It would be very awkward if I were to just come out and ask him if he did. Maybe I could casually say that I was dating someone?

I groaned. None of those options sounded any good.

I could hear Iruka chopping away as something sizzled on the stove. I picked up my book and pretended to read it.

Hatake had said that I should stop leading Iruka on. But, I never thought I was ever doing that. We have been friends for a long time and we always did things together. Did he always do things with me because he likes me?

I wasn't completely sure that I liked Hatake, but I was sure that I wouldn't ever be able to kiss Iruka like I did with Hatake.

I blushed just at the thought of it.

As I tried to focus on the reading material in front of me, I heard a loud knock. With hesitation, I got up from the couch and walked over and opened my front door.

My heart seemed to jump about in the confines of my chest.

_Hatake…_

He leaned in as he confidently placed one hand on my hip. His other hand slowly started to slide off his mask. My eyes closed slowly in anticipation.

"Kakashi? What are you doing here?"

I opened my eyes. I turned around and saw Iruka standing behind me. Hatake's hand quickly let go of me and his mask was still firmly covering his face.

"I came here to see-," he started.

I briskly shook my head and gestured with my hands for Hatake to stop talking.

"I have a message for Kei from Tsunade-sama," he finished as he registered what I wanted to get across.

I breathed a small sigh of relief.

"And what are you doing here?" he asked Iruka. Maybe it was my imagination, but Hatake sounded slightly accusatory.

"I'm just making dinner," Iruka answered genially.

"Is that curry I smell?" Hatake asked, "It makes me hungry."

"Ah, uh," Iruka sounded hesitant, "would you like to join us?"

"Don't mind if I do," Hatake's eye smiled.

* * *

"That was really good, Iruka," Hatake said, "Thanks again."

"No problem," Iruka stated.

We had just finished eating dinner, during which an awkward silence had hung in the air for the entire time.

"I suppose I should be leaving now," Iruka said.

"You should both be leaving," I said, feeling irritated and tired.

I walked them over to the door and held it open for them. As they stepped outside, they both turned around and looked at me expectantly.

"Thanksforeverythinggoodnight!" I said quickly and slammed the door before they could say anything.

I let out a deep breath and finally felt relaxed now that I was alone.

I absentmindedly walked over to the bathroom as I removed my clothing. It felt like that uncomfortable dinner would never end. I really just wanted to shower and go to sleep at this point.

I stepped into the bath and let the water from the showerhead thoroughly soak me.

Hatake had said that he liked me. Why did I find it so difficult to say the same to him? I know that I am definitely attracted to him physically. But, I am still unsure of how I feel about everything. I did just regain my sight and things in my life have changed. I also never really dated anyone. I've never gotten farther than kissing, either. So, how could I possibly know if I did like him or not?

I shut off the water and wrapped myself in a clean, white towel.

I walked over to my bureau next to my bed and searched for my pajamas in one of the drawers when I felt a twinge of chakra nearby. Someone was in the house. I resisted the urge to turn around and look for the intruder. Instead, I opened another drawer and felt around for my stash of kunai knives.

The chakra came closer to me.

When I finally found a knife, I whipped around and flung it towards the chakra presence behind me.

The knife made a whizzing noise at it sliced the air. It landed with a loud crack; the point was firmly implanted into the wall.

Before I could look around, I felt myself being pulled and thrown on the bed.

I stared up at the intruder's face.

"Hatake!" I screamed.

He laughed.

My heart was still beating rapidly from the adrenaline, though my hands didn't shake.

I blushed when I realized the position we were in. He was on top of me with his legs on both side of me and his hands pressing down on my arms.

"Did I scare you?" he asked. His voice sounded deeper than usual.

"No," I lied.

He didn't say anything as his right hand came up and pulled down his mask until it hung around his neck.

I stared at his lips. The towel around my body felt uncomfortably tight and itchy.

He lowered his face until his lips touched mine. My eyes closed involuntarily as I felt myself respond to the kiss. His chakra hummed in my ears until I couldn't even hear myself breathing.

He moved his hands and readjusted himself until he was on his elbows, bringing himself closer to me.

He broke the kiss and one of his hands came up to caress the side of my cheek.

"Open your mouth a little," he said.

I listened and once again he kissed me.

A low moan escaped my throat as I felt his tongue slip inside my mouth. His chakra shook the air around me and sent pleasant vibrations throughout my body.

His tongue pushed against mien and it felt slick. I could feel saliva sliding down at the corners of my mouth. My hands clutched his shoulders tightly.

The lower half of his body started to slide down until it was slightly resting on me. I could feel the wetness of my bed sheets from my hair. Sweat rolled off the sides of my head. Everything just felt so…

_Hot._

Our tongues continued to roll around each other in a messy mingle of muscle. His hands slowly crept from my cheek down to my collarbone until I could feel the palm of his hand barely touching the edge of the towel.

He shifted his body again and I could feel something large rubbing against my leg. I instinctively pushed him away and my eyes flew open.

"I-I can't," I stuttered, "I've never…"

His eye widened and he quickly pushed himself off of me.

"I'm so sorry, Kei," he said. He pulled his mask back up.

I sat up and I could feel the heat from my face receding.

"I just couldn't hold myself back," he admitted.

"It's okay, it's my fault, too," I said sheepishly.

"I just like you so much," he said boldly.

I opened my mouth and closed it again.

_What should I say? I do like him, but why can't I just say it then? What is holding me back?_

He leaned over and kissed my cheek through his mask.

"Whenever you're ready," he whispered into my ear.

I sat very still. I felt as if I couldn't move.

Without another word, he stood up and left.


	11. Chapter 11

"Maybe you're not doing it for the right reasons."

"Love is the truest of reasons," I stated.

Iruka sighed heavily.

"What do we know about love, anyway?" I heard him take a large gulp from his soda before he set it down next to our feet.

I leaned backwards until I could feel the wooden fence ribbing into my shoulder blades. The bench creaked from the weight.

"I just need to train harder," I said.

"Come on, I'll walk you home," I heard him get up.

He placed his hand in mine and helped me up off the bench.

"I wonder why the Sandaime won't tell you…" he trailed off.

We started walking east towards my apartment.

"Maybe it's really for the best that I don't know," I said softly. "It's just, sometimes… losing my parents and my sight... I feel like it's not even worth waking up for."

I took a deep breath to calm myself.

Iruka stopped as I tried to hold back my tears. The air shifted as I felt his arms pull me in and he held me in a gentle hug.

"You've never let being blind stop you before. Don't let it stop you now," he breathed. "And don't forget, you've got me."

I gave a laugh of relief.

"You're right," I said.

"You'll make it, Kei," he said, "whether it's for love or for yourself."

* * *

I looked out the window as I realized that I had just read through an entire list of poisons and various procedures of synthesis without even taking in any of the information.

Ever since I got my vision back, small things became a lot easier to do. I am now also able to preserve more chakra since I don't have to use it for sensory purposes. However, the idea of reading letters instead of feeling them was foreign to me. I had become so accustomed to the latter method that when I first tried to read, my fingers would trace around the letters involuntarily. Now, though, my reading has improved, but my concentration seems to have become worse. I found myself reminiscing about the past and becoming more distracted day by day. It was infuriating since I had always been so focused and driven.

I hardly ever saw Hatake. He was always away on missions and I had just returned to active duty. I was also busy in between missions since I was still learning medical ninjutsu. What made it worse was that Tsunade had put me on a fast track through the curriculum after she found out that I was already quite skilled in chakra control.

When Hatake and I would finally see each other, I was usually too tired and would only want to rest. He always said that he understood and that we could spend time together later. But, the next time would be the same. I also realized that we hadn't kissed since that night we had dinner with Iruka.

_Why is he always so understanding?_

I gathered my study materials and stood up. My body ached from sitting in one position too long. I gave a loud yawn as I stretched my arms towards the ceiling.

_Could it be that he is getting tired of me?_

I returned the books at the sorting desk and took in a deep breath of fresh air when I exited the library. The sun was almost too bright for my liking.

Why did I always have to think so negatively? Hatake said that he liked me on more than one occasion. He had never given me any reason to doubt him so far. Though, maybe he was bothered by the fact that I had chosen to remain close with Iruka.

I walked back to my apartment still deep in thought.

* * *

I gulped down a large swig of rice wine and threw a piece of rakkyo(1) in my mouth. I leaned back on my couch and felt relaxed. I never really enjoyed drinking much, but lately it felt good to drink a little after studying or just completing a string of missions.

I kept asking myself why Hatake wouldn't kiss me anymore. It repeated in my head like the banging of a drum and it made me feel sick.

_I wish I could see him._

I reached over and grabbed the bottle of sake from the table. I was about to take a swig when I realized it was empty. With a groan, I got up and walked to the kitchen to grab a new one.

I opened my kitchen cabinet and took out a new bottle when I heard knocking at my door. It was already late so I wondered who it could be.

I swung open the door and my chest felt tight as I saw Hatake standing there.

"H-hatake…" I stuttered.

"I'm sorry. Did I bother you?" he asked.

"Ah, no," I said quickly.

"Can I come in?"

I moved aside to let him through.

"Would you like to have a drink?" I asked. My voice sounded as if it was trembling.

"Sure," he replied. I watched him as he walked his way over to the sofa and sat down.

I retrieved a small glass from the kitchen and sat down next to him. I opened the new bottle of sake and poured some into his glass.

He picked up the empty bottle and chuckled.

"Did you drink all this by yourself?"

I nodded. I poured some sake into my glass until it reached all the way to the very top. With a deep breath I threw my head back and spilled the contents into my throat.

"Hey, aren't you drinking a little too much?" he asked.

My face twitched. I felt irritated by his question.

"What do you care?" my voice sounded cold.

"Is something wrong?" he placed his hand over mine.

I quickly removed my hand and stood up. My heart was beating furiously and it felt a little painful.

"Kei, why are you acting this way?" he asked.

"Me? You're blaming me?" I asked incredulously. My voice sounded loud and angry.

I glared at him. He didn't say anything. My head started to feel light and my face was red.

"Why do you keep pushing me away?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" he asked. He stood up and walked over to me. His one eye looked at me intently.

"Every time we see each other, you always find an excuse to leave. It's like you don't want to be near me…" my voice shook and sounded strangely vulnerable.

"I do want to be near you," Hatake said hurriedly.

Tears started to well up in the corner of my eyes.

"We're both jounin and I know we're both busy. I just didn't want to push you away," he said softly.

"Then why won't you kiss me anymore?" I asked brazenly.

Hatake looked stunned at my question. He sighed loudly and turned his head away.

"I'm afraid that if I do, I won't be able to stop," he answered honestly.

I wasn't sure if it was from all the wine I had been drinking or from his words, but I felt a strange rush of boldness.

"Then don't," I said.

He turned to look at me again. With an almost uncomfortable slowness, he walked towards me until I could smell the clean scent of his clothes.

"I won't" he whispered. He peeled the mask off his face as he lowered his face towards me.

His chakra thundered loudly in my ears and I felt the force with which his lips rushed to mine. He kissed me almost violently and I couldn't help but shudder.

Our tongues met as they wrestled around each other in an elaborate dance. I could feel the saliva building up in my mouth as I tasted him.

I heard the clatter of his headband falling to the floor. With a soft push, he led me backwards until I felt the edge of my bed on the back of my knees.

He pulled away to stare at me. The pupils in his eyes had grown big and dark.

I could tell that he was hesitant.

My body felt hot and the blood in me seemed to throb with a sense of urgency. I felt desperate for his touch. With shaking hands, I pulled off my shirt and exposed my plain white brassiere.

My breath hitched in my throat as I felt his chakra beating against me like a strong, unrelenting current of wind. My hands moved to remove my bra. He stared at me silently. Before I could get it off, he pulled me towards him. He kissed the side of my neck.

My heart banged around against the confines of my chest like a wild bird in a cage.

_Let me loose…_

Hatake breathed in my ear and his tongue lapped hungrily at my skin.

_I want more…_

"H-hatake," I said in quivering voice.

Without a reply, he pulled away from me. In one smooth motion, he unzipped his vest and tossed it onto the floor. He paused for a moment. He stared at me and I realized that he was admiring the wanton expression that graced my face. I turned away in embarrassment.

I heard soft rustling as he removed his clothing. He then placed a hand at the small of my back and pushed me down with the other until I collapsed on the bed with him on top. I blushed as I felt his stiff manhood pressing against my hips through the cloth of his underwear.

I felt myself savoring the sight of his naked chest. He was well-built and lean. The definition of his muscles was prominent. I also noticed several scars that crisscrossed like thin, light wires throughout his body. His nipples were a dusky pink and I felt the urge to lick at them along with the healed scars.

He leaned over and kissed my neck again. This time, though, his hands traveled towards my back and finally undid the clasp of my bra. After a seemingly deliberative pause, he removed it from my chest. I could feel his chakra growing in rabid intensity. It crackled against mine as goose bumps erupted all around my body.

His mouth sucked at my collarbone as one of his hands caressed the sides of my ribs. I closed my eyes and let myself get swept away by the sensations. My breathing grew unstable as he made his inevitable way down towards my exposed chest.

I twitched as I felt his warm tongue make contact. His lips lightly clamped down on my breast as his tongue kept circling around my nipples. My eyes flew open as I heard the sounds that were leaving my mouth. Hatake stopped his ministrations to kiss my lips again. He let loose a groan of frustration from deep in his throat.

"I can't hold back anymore," he said gruffly. I felt strangely excited at his words.

One hand reached down and tugged at my pants. With desperation, I helped him. As the rest of my clothes were tossed to the side, I could feel the air cooling the heat and stickiness that lay between my legs. Within a second, his underwear was gone as well.

I shamelessly stared at his erection. It was a dark pink and the head was tinged with a purplish shade. It was quite enormous as it stood proudly from the silver crown of hair that grew in a tangled mess around it. His balls hung like two perfect, fleshy bulbs.

"Please don't stop me," it sounded more like a demand than a request.

He lowered himself closer to me. With one hand, he took hold of his penis and guided it towards my entrance.

My whole body shook as adrenaline coursed through my body.

We kissed again. Our tongues pushed against each other in a panicked manner. With an excruciating slowness, he began to push into me. My legs involuntarily closed around him. My eyes became wet with tears. I reached out and gripped at his chest. I could feel his muscles flexing under my hands.

"Uhn…" he breathed out.

His head finally made its way into me. With another push, he was completely inside of me. The pain was unbearable. Before I could adjust to the intrusion, he pulled himself out only to thrust back in. I could feel something warm dripping down me and I smelled blood.

He continued his pace as the pain seared throughout my body like a fire. Low moans kept escaping his throat. I almost asked him to stop, but my body seemed to still want him as I continued to suck him back into my warmth.

Sweat began to pool in the crevice of my chest and the air around me felt hot. He pushed himself up with one arm as the other snaked around to my back and held me towards his chest. He continued pushing in me at this new angle and the pain began to quietly dull.

He held me tighter until my breasts were pressed against his solid and now slick chest. I threw my head back as he pierced me again and again. I gasped loudly as I felt him touch something in me. I made soft mewling noises in response to the ecstasy I was feeling.

The hand that was holding me up traveled up to my neck. The sounds of flesh slapping each other echoed around the room. He began massaging the back of my head. In an animalistic fashion, he tugged at a handful of hair at the nape of my neck which elicited a soft cry from me.

His pace quickened. His chakra began to beat against the wall of mine.

_I can't let it in, or else it'll overwhelm me…_

I could feel something building up inside me. Everything in my lower body felt tight and constrained as I clung onto the rippling pleasure as best I could.

"Look at me, Kei," he said in a strangled voice.

_It feels so…_

I opened my eyes and reluctantly looked at him. He stared at me intensely, and I could tell everything he was feeling from the expression on his face.

"Kei," he said my name again.

He pounded into me wildly. I couldn't rip my eyes away from his. Without warning, a velvet wave of pleasure ruptured in me.

"Kakashi," I whispered breathlessly.

My hands clung desperately at his shoulders as the wave rescinded and my mind became blank.

"I'm…" he said.

He let loose a guttural moan as his body suddenly froze. His eye closed and his mouth opened as it let out a soundless cry. With a few more gentle thrusts, he breathed out a loud sigh and collapsed on top of me.

My breathing became stabilized and my heart beat returned to normal.

"You called me by my first name," he said softly.

I grimaced as he pulled out and rolled over next to me.

I didn't respond.

I stared at the ceiling as a feeling of guilt overwhelmed me.

* * *

(1) Rakkyo: pickled shallots. I call them "little onions."


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Note: I apologize for being gone for a really long time. I've been feeling uninspired and I've been preoccupied with work. But, I promise, I will finish this story. I already have a second installment planned out. I just hope you guys stick around! And sorry that this chapter is rather short.

* * *

He held me very tightly. I could feel that his arms were still as strong as it was before.

He spoke my name very clearly. His voice was as pacifying as it was before.

His lips landed on mine very gently. His hands touched me all over. His hair tickled my neck.

I moaned softly against his ear. My body was burning.

I felt exhilarated knowing that I was finally with him again. I loved him for so long and now, to be able to touch him…

"What is your name?" I asked tenderly.

He chuckled lowly.

I looked up quickly and found myself staring at the familiar sight of silvery hair and a scarred left eye.

* * *

My eyes fluttered open. The sun was high and bright and it made my head throb like an aching wound. I felt hot and my forehead was covered with sweat.

My body forced itself to sit up on the bed. I realized I was naked. I had forgotten for a moment what I had done last night… with Hatake.

I looked over at the other side of the bed and saw that it was empty. I felt a strange numbness wash over me like a freezing wave.

My body trembled as it stood up and walked itself over to the bathroom.

I stared at my reflection.

My hair was matted and my face was pale. My naked chest was marred by a single small bruise that was now a muted shade of purple.

I had given Hatake my virginity last night. It was the one thing I was planning on saving for the man that I had always loved.

My stomach felt uneasy and my chest felt tight.

I stepped into the shower stall and turned on the hot water. My skin was burning from the scalding temperature.

_What was I thinking?_

I let the water run over me as I went through the motions of cleaning myself. After I had finished, I stepped out of the bathroom in a clean robe.

I tried to push the negative thoughts aside as I walked to the kitchen to make some coffee.

"Good morning."

I stopped in my tracks. Hatake was standing in my kitchen fully dressed.

"H-hatake…" I breathed.

He walked over to me and wrapped me in his arms.

"Sorry I was gone," he whispered. "I had to turn in a mission report. But to make it up to you, I'm making us breakfast."

He pulled his mask down and his lips landed softly on mine.

With that single kiss, I felt the uneasiness quickly dissipating. I felt happy.

"I was thinking of making tamagoyaki(1) and saba(2)," he said as he pulled away. He walked back over to the other side of the counter and started cracking eggs into a big bowl.

I followed him.

"I want to help," I said.

I took a raw egg and tapped it against the bowl.

_I don't know how to cook, but I want to be near him._

I picked up a pair of chopsticks and began to earnestly mix the eggs. I gasped as I felt his muscled arms holding my waist tightly from behind.

"I'm sorry," he said in a strained voice. "I can't seem to help myself."

I felt one of his hands slowly pull my wet hair to the side. He began to kiss the back of my neck and my body relaxed into his.

"You seem so sensitive today," he said.

I didn't answer.

He pulled at the sash that was holding my robe closed. My body shivered from being exposed.

His hands began to work at caressing my breasts as his mouth continued to assault my neck.

"Hatake," I moaned.

"Kakashi," he corrected me. "I'll stop unless you call me by my first name."

His hands began to roam lower over my body and my legs shook with anticipation.

I remained quiet.

I leaned backwards until my back lay firmly against his hard chest. With a tantalizingly slow speed, he circled his fingers around the firmness of my lower abdomen.

"Do you ever call out my name when you touch yourself?" he asked in a deeply dangerous voice.

"Touch myself?" I asked breathlessly.

His mouth and hands stopped tormenting me.

"You've never touched yourself?" he asked.

"No," I answered honestly.

"Then let me show you how it's done."

Without warning, he scooped my legs out from under me and carried me over to my bed.

"What are you doing?" I was suddenly aware of the embarrassing position I was in with my robe fully open and exposing my nude body.

He didn't answer. Instead, he sat us both down on the bed with me sitting right between his legs and still facing away from him. With a swift tug, he pulled off my robe and tossed it onto the floor.

I let out a sharp gasp as I felt his teeth bite into the soft flesh of my earlobe. One of his hands slipped over mine and held it tightly. His chakra enveloped me in an electric embrace that made my breathing quicken and my stomach tighten.

His free hand cupped one of my breasts and I arched my back as his fingers ran over my nipple. He gently forced my other hand to rub my stomach in a slow, circular motion. I tried to pull away, but it only made him hold onto me tighter.

He started lapping at the side of my neck. His breathing was calm but his chakra resounded through my like shockwaves. With surprising quickness, he led my fingers down until they reached the downy hair of my sex. I tightened up.

"Relax," he whispered.

Before I could brace myself, he dipped both our fingers into the soft folds of skin. He made a purr-like sound of pleasure that tickled my ear. Without a second to spare, he began rubbing our fingers until mine landed on a small mound of skin. My back immediately arched and my mouth flew open as I let out a loud, gasping moan.

His fingers forced mine to rub over this newfound spot and I continued to give out mewling cries as my other hand clutched at the back of his head. Every motion made my body burn faster. My legs shook uncontrollably.

He then pushed our fingers lower until they reached the wetness of my hole and they became slick with my juices. He started gliding up and down all over my sex until I could feel the warmness of my fluids all over the insides of my legs.

I began to move my fingers of my own accord. I wanted to feel the raw sweetness of the sensation over and over again. I rubbed that small spot vigorously as if every touch was bringing me closer to something.

Hatake's hands began to move all over my body. I could feel that my nipples were sticky and wet from his finger that was inside me.

"My name," Hatake said, "say my name."

I ignored his request.

With amazing speed, he pushed me down face forward until the side of my cheek was resting on the bed and my butt was in the air. I heard him unzip his pants. Before I could ask him what he was doing, he deftly penetrated me.

"Ah!" I cried out by the sudden intrusion.

He was so warm and thick. It was almost as if he was meant to be inside of me, filling me with his hard and throbbing shaft like a piece of a puzzle that had finally found its place.

Tantalizingly, he slowly moved out until he was no longer in me.

"Hnnn," I stifled a moan.

"Say my name," he said again.

I moved my butt, aching to have him in me again. His hands gripped tightly at my cheeks, holding me in place. He began teasing my entrance with the head of his penis as his thumbs spread apart my cheeks and began massaging the sensitive flesh near my sex.

My body trembled.

"I won't continue until you say my name," he said.

With his chakra beating against me in a pleasurable rhythm, I felt defeated.

"Please…" I whispered, "Kakashi."

With gratifying quickness, he began pushing his large head in until he was completely inside of me. I felt connected once again.

He continued thrusting in and out of me. My body grew hotter every time I felt his head almost leaving me and then roughly pushing itself back in. I still felt pain from the night before, but it was overwhelmed by my desire for that beautiful climax that I was surely about to reach.

"Kakashi," I continued breathing out his name.

He pushed into me harder as his hands gripped me by my hips and pulled me towards him with every thrust. The room was soon filled with the sound of his desperate grunts and the hard slapping of flesh.

I moaned his name even louder. I felt like an animal that had been trapped for ages and was now experiencing the sweet freedom that I had been robbed from. I felt wild.

"Kei…" he whispered.

His chakra burst over me. Mine exploded as well as I felt my body stiffen from the pleasure that rocked all throughout me.

With a soft sigh, I collapsed on the bed face-down. Hatake did the same as he laid on top of me with his chest resting against my back.

"What have you done to me?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" My eyes began to close as I enjoyed the pressure of his weight on me.

"You've made it so that I can't think of anyone else except you," he answered.

I didn't say anything.

_Why did I do this again?_

* * *

Tamagoyaki: egg rolled up into an oval shape. Sort of like a swiss roll, but flatter.

Saba: mackerel.


	13. Chapter 13

"I heard you're doing really well in all of the subjects."

I looked up and smiled as I saw who it was.

"Shizune-san!"

She smiled back. Her black hair reflected the sunlight that was streaming out of the large library window.

I had been studying medical ninjutsu for several weeks under the stern guidance of Tsunade-sama. I could manipulate my chakra easily through the human body and I had already completed the studying through more than half of the curriculum. I knew I was making great progress and Tsunade-sama said I could soon return to active duty as a medical-nin.

"Don't tell me you've been reading these books since morning," she said as she examined the table I was sitting at: books and reference materials were strewn all over as if a small typhoon had come and made a mess of things.

I smiled back sheepishly as I leaned back against my chair.

"What are you doing here today?" I asked.

"I just came to return some books from Tsunade-sama's office," she replied. "I was just about to get a late lunch. Why don't you come with me?"

"I could definitely use some food in my body right about now," I agreed happily.

* * *

"So, this new Kazekage is young?" I asked as I swallowed down the last bite of my tuna curry cream puff.

"Very young and very idealistic," she replied.

"How so?"

"He's asked Konoha for help with their medical ninjutsu program."

"Isn't their educational system modeled after ours?"

With a satisfying sigh, I took a large swig of my ice water and rubbed my belly in content.

"Yes, and I suppose after how successful it's been for them, he also wants to follow our medical ninjutsu curriculum."

"Did Tsunade-sama agree to it?"

"Of course she did," Shizune replied. "The only problem is that we need to send someone over there to help oversee the implementation and we only have so many medical-nin to go around. Also, with the present danger of the Akatsuki, we really don't have any people to spare. Tsunade-sama is in a really tight spot."

"If only Tsunade-sama could reinstate me, then I would be able to at least do some lower-ranking missions," I said hopefully.

"Kei, we're still uncertain of your condition and it's better to be safe than sorry."

"I know that... I just feel so useless," I admitted.

"Don't," she said forcefully, "you'll be returning to active duty before you know it. Besides, I'm sure Tsunade-sama will find somebody to send over to Suna."

"Nobody has volunteered?" I asked.

"I highly doubt anyone would since they would have to be a temporary resident of Suna for eight months."

"Eight months!" I exclaimed. "This Kazekage must be serious."

"I wouldn't be surprised if he helps usher in a new era for the shinobi world," Shizune said, "the way of thinking has changed since the last world war. There are more people who strive for peace and this has influenced the way the younger generations are growing up."

"A world without war…" I trailed off.

"Konoha and Suna are far from being true allies. Though, recent efforts have definitely repaired our relationship with them since the Chunin exams."

"I wonder who Tsunade-sama will send…" I wondered aloud.

"It's nothing for you to be worried about," Shizune said.

I smiled half-heartedly as I took a small sip of my water; my head still full of thoughts of the Sand Village and this new, young Kazekage.

* * *

"I'll just be taking these," I said to the librarian as I pointed at the large stack of books. After lunch, I didn't feel much like staying cooped up in the library, so I decided to study at home.

After my books were checked out, I slowly began making my way home. The books weren't heavy, but they were stacked so high that I could barely see the path in front of me.

I stumbled for a few blocks before I felt someone come up from behind me.

"Let me help you with those."

I smiled brightly as I saw Iruka's tan face.

"Thanks," I replied.

He took half of the books from the top so that I could finally see. I hadn't seen him in so long that I felt relieved to see him. We walked side by side down the road naturally together as if we were picking up where we left off.

"Do you remember when we first met?" he asked.

Surprised by the sudden question, I hesitated momentarily before answering.

"Of course, I had just become a genin and the Sandaime asked you to watch over me."

Iruka laughed light-heartedly.

"It's funny when you think about it," he explained, "you are the most resilient and independent person I know."

"I think he was more worried that I would be lonely."

We turned into the small alley that led to the street in front of my apartment. The cool shadow that the neighboring buildings cast upon us relieved the heat from my forehead.

"I think he was worried about the both of us," he said quietly. I knew he was talking about the fact that both our parents were gone.

"Have you visited them recently?" I asked.

"No, but I should."

"Let me know when you're going to. I'd like to come with you."

"That'd be nice."

* * *

I settled the books down on the dining table and let out a huge sigh.

"Are you planning on reading all these?" Iruka asked.

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Well, then. If you're going to be studying hard, you're going to need to eat something."

Iruka walked into my kitchen and began to look through my cupboards for ingredients.

"Iruka, you don't have to," I said as I chased after him. "I just ate lunch."

"Then you can just eat it later. I'd rather you have a nice home-cooked meal then another convenience store bento."

I placed my hand on his arm.

"I said I'll be fine. You don't have to worry about me all the time. Like you said, I'm the most resilient person you've ever met."

Iruka stared at my hand that was still on his arm.

"Kei," he said softly. His face turned up until his eyes stared into mine. Seconds passed until I felt his hand gently cup the side of my face.

Without a warning, his lips briefly touched mine. My eyes widened in shock as I stared up at him. His face flushed at my reaction.

"I'm sorry," I breathed out.

He shook his head with eyes closed.

"No, I understand," he said. "You love that man, don't you?"

"What…"

"The man who saved you when you were young. The man who you asked the Sandaime about those many years ago. The man whose name you never knew… You love him still, don't you?"

I looked away from his face and stared out the kitchen window. The sun had begun to set and the colors of the sky and the dying light coalesced together in a hazy mix of confusion.

"Yes."

My chest felt tight as the unsettling honesty of my answer sunk in.

"I should be going now," Iruka stated.

I stood and watched silently as he left.

* * *

I ran quickly. I felt as if my feet could not move fast enough.

_He has to be there._

The trees flashed quickly through my periphery as I gained momentum.

_I need him to be there._

The sky had started to become dark and the clouds loomed heavily over the horizon. The scent of an oncoming shower prickled my nose. The smell of the grass and leaves made me feel nauseous.

I stopped when I finally reached the clearing. Hatake stood with his back to me, facing the memorial. His silver hair looked almost dull and lifeless as it shivered in the light breeze.

I walked towards him. My whole body shook with anticipation.

He turned around and my heart began to thump uncontrollably.

"Kei, what are you doing here?"

Without an answer I walked to him until our bodies almost touched. I could smell the aroma of his clean clothes and freshly washed body and I found it irresistible. I pulled down his mask with shaking hands and placed my hand at the back of his neck. I stood on my toes as I crashed my lips onto his.

Following my lead, he wrapped his arms around my waist bringing me closer to him.

_You. I only need you._

My tongue begged to be in his mouth and he let me in. I could taste his saliva at the tip of my tongue and I wanted more. I had to let him know. I had to make him believe. I had to make myself believe…

I felt a few sprinkles of rain lightly hitting us.

I gripped his hair at the nape of his neck as our tongues continued to push against each other.

I wanted to push all my feelings into him. I wanted him to know how I felt. Hatake was the only one who made me feel alive after so long. He made me crave him…

_Want him…_

We didn't stop even though the rain continued to become louder and harder. I felt a flame burning inside of me that the water couldn't even put out.

With ragged breathing, he pushed away from me. Our clothes had become soaking wet and continuous streams of water flowed down his face. Lightning briefly flashed above us and seemed to mirror the explosive dance and charge his chakra was exuding.

"We can't stay out in the rain," he said in a low voice.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me along with him as I finally heard the loud roll of thunder crash around us.

* * *

For the first time, I stepped into his house. It was small, but clean and mostly empty. A made bed adorned the corner and a large window stood in front of us. On the small ledge under the window a picture frame and several miscellaneous items cluttered it.

"I'm going to get us some towels," he said as he walked away.

As I waited for him to return, I walked over to the window and picked up the picture. There were four people in the photograph. One of them was a young Hatake; a mask over his face and his eyes were almost glaring. Another, with bright yellow hair and a soft smile who stood behind them, caught my eye.

_The Yondaime…_

Shizune was right; he was a very handsome man.

"I miss them."

I turned around and saw Hatake standing behind me with a white fluffy towel. I placed the picture frame back down. I felt myself examining his now naked chest. My eyes traced over his hard nipples and his taut chest. He was still wet and his hair hung down over his eyes.

Without a word, I pulled up my shirt over my head and threw it down. Hatake's eyes roamed over my body hungrily and his chakra enveloped me in a jolting embrace. My hands went to my back and undid my bra. I felt the cool air hit my slick chest as it fell to the ground.

As I reached to pull down my skirt, his eyes met mine. He stared right into me as if he could see and understand my thoughts. I felt myself leaking onto my underwear; maybe from the anticipation or from his deep, unfaltering gaze.

My skirt hit the floor. I hooked my thumbs into my underwear and dragged them down my now shivering legs and kicked them out from under me. With desperation, I ran to him and jumped on him. My legs found their way around his waist and I felt his hard arms grab me by my buttocks. He gave them a hard squeeze and I moaned loudly.

_I don't want to be lonely anymore._

Our mouths pushed against each other in a steady rhythm; our tongues probing each other's mouths. My hands instinctively tugged his hair at the back of his head. His chakra crackled against my skin causing my body to swell with goose bumps. He shifted most of my weight onto one arm as his other reached down and unzipped his pants. I brought one hand down to pull down his underwear, momentarily breaking off the kiss. With a swift yank, they dropped down, freeing his erection.

His head poked me, almost teasingly. I could feel that it was burning hot and hard as it begged to be let into me. I looked deeply into Hatake's eyes as I began to kiss him again.

_Kakashi…_

I yearned for him to understand. I want to be with him. For him to be in me. I want to forget the past. I only want to think of him.

I moaned unashamedly as he entered me. His arms gripped me even tighter as he began to move me up and down. My breasts bounced wildly and my nipples grazed the wet flesh of his chest. His thrusts were quick and deep. My juices coated him, allowing him to easily penetrate me. I felt a fire starting in my belly.

I could hear him breathing hard as he fought to control himself. I cried out as his chakra began to thrash wildly against me. My entire body felt as if it were vibrating like the tension of a tight wire.

He licked the side of my neck as I closed my eyes. I gave loud and appreciative moans. This only seemed to encourage him as he increased his speed.

He backed up until we were up against the wall. I reached out and tried to cling to the walls to give him better leverage. With a slight lift of my hips, I felt him touch me in what seemed the deepest part of me. Every thrust rocked my body with a sweet, delicate pleasure.

_Aah…_

Before I could stop myself, I shook uncontrollably as my pleasure reached its height. With a large shudder, he soon followed suit; the tight contractions of my insides becoming too unbearable for him.

With him still inside me, he carried me to the bed until I was on my back. He finally pulled out and my sex felt a slight pain from the sensitive state it was in. He collapsed on his side next to me. He reached down and gently held my hand. His palms were sweaty.

"I…" I trailed off.

_What was I going to say?_

"I love you," he whispered. His eyes closed.

In a matter of seconds, his breathing became shallow and he was asleep.


End file.
